hard

it's been hard to keep up my daily practice
especially when now, many project is due,
sometime when i wake up, it's afternoon.
or i just don't feel like to set donw trying to find a peace with in to write thing
even when i do,
my head went blank.
hard days.

Doing me

with my daily practice, i always have to do it as the first time in the morning.
sometime, i will be in the rush to get ready, and not really want to sit down and do my daily practice. however, there is something there made me feel odd if i don't do it.
so, feel i was be forced to sit down and do the video.
i guess, this feeling happend to many everyday routine.
some time i don't want to brush my teeth, but somehow, i will still do it no matter how tired i was.
so, it really like the activity is doing me, rather than i doing it.

allowing the bow to cut through him

when the master say "now at last, the bowstring has cut right through you."
i think it refer to the fact that student realized that not knowing is the only thing we know.
and questions are the ture knowaledge because they are coming from with in, rather than learning from others. that is probabely the greatest enlightenment. therefore, the bow cut through him because he is not exist.

Frame by Frame

attention on shaving

after watching my shaving my face frame by frame
i notice how much facial expression i had when i am shaving.
and how much a person can look different after remove hair on face.
i also can hear the sound of shaving. which i didn't notice before.

daily practice

i think my daily practice will be

end of each day, write down my version of aura of the day
next day morning. turn on the video camara
(video camara facing my window in the room)
reread my aura of yesterday to the video
but only my voice and the view of my windows


this is my daily practice

eyebrows

Yesterday,
i was reading book,
for a short while, i was spaced out.
by the time when i came back to the paragraph that i was reading. i already forget what i was reading.
this kind of memory lost happened to me quite often when i read in English.
not so often if i am reading in Chinese.
suddenly, my mind jump into thinking
why do we have eyebrows
i cannot think of a reason.
therefore, i went to toilet.
shaved my eyebrows off.
just want to see my face without those decorative items.

River

September 29

as usually, i bike down to wearhouse to get to my class from my house
a rainny day.
i wear a yellow weather jacket, biking from a top of hill down to the town.
only my face is exposed to outside
for a second, i close my eyes
i felt the rain drop on my face skin
not one, not two, maybe sixty seven.
i am not sure
then the cold tempterture transfering from the rain into my body.
i am imaging it was a river
a river of coldness
start from the sky
end on my face, in my body.

Yunpei

smell

september 27

turning day, i guess

it had some hints since last night when i walked out in the rainy wind.

some odd smell already like the man's perfume spared out in between spaces.

could not know what that was.

this morning

the smell of burning wood, you know, the delicate outdoor-man kind of smell.

everywhere, every corners, every steps, every breath.

a friend told me, it is the smell of autumn.

the hormone of rotting leaves, rotting summer.

i make a deep breath, allowing the rotting summer fulfill my lungs.

Summer, Autumn, a very blur division line.

YunPei

Big breakfast

my way of changing the routine is to make myself a nice breakfast, and spend time eating it. thinking of the day that is ahead of me.
usually i waked up and rush into shower, and maybe had a peanuts butter sandwitch or most of the time i go to school without having any breakfast.
so i decide to change that.
i had a gee, tomato, mashroom, and basil omelet
plus a big cop of coffee. i set down and spend time eating it.
somehow, that day, went by very smoothly.

Pei

Seeing the light